Tales from my Ovaries: Tampon Nightmares

Warning: The following blog entry includes lady talk. You’ve been warned.

When I hit puberty, my mom (aka Judy Smooth) repeatedly told me never to wear tampons. She claimed they were gross and would give you “the toxic shock syndrome”. If you notice, I put that phrase in quotes because Judy Smooth has her own version of the English language. As I mentioned in previous posts she has various antidotes and putting “the” before things is just one of the many. For example, she might say, “Mary called yesterday and her sister Beatrice has THE cancer”. Emphasis on the “the”.

Anyways, I never wore tampons. Ever. I survived by using maxi pads until the rightful age of 29. I missed many a swimming activity because Aunt Flo stopped by for a week long visit. A few months ago, I thought what the hell and tried out a free sample of tampons I received in the mail. [Read more...]

Tales from my Ovaries: Game Over

Those of you following along on my ovary adventure… here’s the update.

Things didn’t turn out the way I wanted, but life goes on. I started having some really sharp pains on Wednesday morning so I called the doctor. They scheduled me to come in for an appointment with the doctor and some bloodwork on Thursday. They did warn me that if the pains got worse or I started bleeding to go to the ER immediately. [Read more...]